Maintaining Who You Are in a Relationship

Bits-of-Knowledge-2010-10-17&10-23

Maintaining Who You Are in a Relationship

In order to maintain a personal identity when in a relationship, it's important to do things outside of the relationship. Stay who you are in a relationship with tips from our life and relationship coach, Donna Barnes, in this episode of BOK.

I’m Donna Barnes. I’m a life and relationship coach, and owner of NY Dating Coach in New York City.

In this clip, we’re going to talk about how to maintain your power in a relationship. Because a big problem is that you’re really attractive who you are, that’s why you get together and then you become a different person once you get into the relationship.

You got to keep maintaining what’s important to you, independence and things that you would do outside of the relationship. Don’t let your whole life become about the relationship. Keep your friends. Friends are really important to keep going, and don’t make everything about the other person. They’ll lose interest in you. Maintain being the person that you were when you first met them because that’s what they are attracted to. It doesn’t mean that intimacy doesn’t deepen and you don’t get closer to

each other, you do. But don’t give up yourself. You have to be a whole person and love yourself to be attractive to somebody else. No one else can really love you until you first love yourself.

But the most important thing is that you don’t look to someone else for your happiness. You have to be happy on your own. They may make you happier. But your happiness has to come in from just you.

This is Donna Barns, life and relationship coach in New York City.